On this date…

Well, 4 years ago today I finished the first draft of my second book. A year ago today, I thought it was going to be published. 11 months and three weeks ago, the book went from ‘we love it and readers are going to connect with it’ to ‘it’s unpublishable’, so I went from ecstatic soon-to-be published author to unpublished. I haven’t touched it in almost a year.

I still believe strongly in the story. I believe that readers WILL connect with it. I believe that publishing company was NOT the right fit for me, and obviously accepted the book without reading it, and sent countless emails supporting it having not read it. When they did, they didn’t like it, and thus started a process involving lawyers and loss of friendships resulting in remaining unpublished.

So why haven’t I touched it in a year? Because even though I know what I know now about this specific publishing company and how they operate, their words remain stabbed into a creative part of my psyche.

I pulled up the story today determined to push back their words that still whisper through my brain any time I’ve sat down to write – to write anything – over the last year.  What did I accomplish?  Nothing.  I am relatively close to finishing a reworking/editing the thing, but I couldn’t put anything, any ideas onto paper.

…

Perhaps it’s time to just let it go.  Let the project go and recognize it for what it became – a life lesson.